Jesus Was A Zombie Necromancer

The character of Jesus as written in the Christian bible has all the characteristics of a zombie necromancer. First, Jesus was said to raise people from the dead. Then, after Jesus died himself, he clawed his way out of his own grave, rising as a sacred zombie.

Once you realize Jesus was a zombie necromancer, Christian Nationalism makes perfect sense.

Christian Nationalists are focused on power and cruelty like a zombie death cult from a horror movie. They don’t want to live in peace. They don’t care about democratic decision making process. They just want to take over to pave the way for their zombie necromancer overlord.

Aren’t we lucky that this zombie necromancer overlord doesn’t actually exist?